I relate very strongly to this. My dad left when I was one and tried to take everything with him – the house that he didn’t pay for, the car (basically everything except me haha). Occasionally he would turn up to harrass the family again and I always believed it didn’t bother me but only recently found out I had counselling as a child because of it. I don’t remember it at all, and now I just don’t care. I understand the urge to see him again just to turn him away – for Bee Merry Christmas shirt, it would provide a form of closure. If you don’t miss him, good on you – don’t go looking for a reason to. He’s not your dad and never tried to be.
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Mine left the day I was born. I didnt even know his name, let alone what he looked like until i was maybe 9/10 when i found my mom’s stash of letter from friends/admirers. I only knew his name but I never went looking for him even when mom said he’s alive and living in another town. I grew up with Bee Merry Christmas shirt. After 24 years he comes in contact with me and all of a sudden he thinks we’re best pals. I just feel..nothing for him