What a moving and very sad story. I am so amazed by your inner strength. Some of the most amazing stories have grown out of adversity and neglect. You have already shown you have the strength to pick yourself up and move forward. It sounds like Santa All I want for Christmas is een frikandel speciaal shirt. I’m glad you had a few small moments where you felt true love from her – it has given you strength. Hold on to that. Forgive yourself. You were not to blame for her death. I’m sorry you didn’t get to build a positive and loving relationship with her when she was alive, but what happens now is up to you. Don’t let your regrets hold you down. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward with that amazing inner strength and beauty that is within you.
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Almost every single person in the world has this (these) moment(s) to when/where they wish to go back in time and make amends. You are Santa All I want for Christmas is een frikandel speciaal shirt. You did your best at that time, under that particular circumstances, feelings and attachments of that period of your life. Try to overcome the negative thoughts in every other action you might take in future. We cannot change past, but we can always build a new future.