When it comes to their rules, they had the effect of socially cutting me of from the world until I was in my mid to late teens. We were a part of a April It’s My Birthday Month I’m Now Accepting Birthday Dinners Shirt group that met once a week during the school year, but all of they interaction between the students very structured leaving little to no time for socializing. I was a part of a couple of extra curricular activities and the same thing was true there. I can count on one or two hands the number of times I have actually gone out with friends or spent and reasonable length of time with then where my parents were not monitoring my every move. I had no phone until I turned 18, and wasn’t allowed to use the house phone unless I asked permission. We had no cable and I wasn’t allowed to use the computer unless one of them was sitting next to me until I turned 18 for fear of me looking at things that were “inappropriate”. This was a broad term used by them to encompass anything they didn’t agree with. It included some truly ridiculous things like porn and such, but I also wasn’t allowed to listen to any non Christian music or watch a movie or TV show they didn’t approve first. The byproduct of these restrictions were during the rare occurrences I did get around people my age and have the chance to socialize with them, none of them lived under a rock like I did, and spent a lot of time discussing popular culture and events happening within their friend groups. Since I was out of touch with both, I was left on the sidelines and couldn’t engage unless I somehow shifted the conversation in another direction.
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I don’t know if this is a normal occurrence or not but I feel as though my parents did me a major disservice in raising me this way. I’m awkward and rarely talk to strangers unless I absolutely have April It’s My Birthday Month I’m Now Accepting Birthday Dinners Shirt, I have very few friends, and their attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs began to rub off on me until I realized what was happening and began constantly tuning them out. This rant has gone on long enough, but I’m curious to see what you guys think about it. If I’m out of line and just bitching about nothing, please call me on it and I will apologize to them on bended knee begging for their forgiveness for how I’ve ignored and rebelled against them as I’ve gotten older. But if I’m not wrong and they were being controlling and toxic, please tell me how I can fix the damage they’ve done to me.