I’m so sorry for your loss. Just devastating. I can relate to the anger you feel about premature Beach Date shirt that survive… I lost my son at 22 weeks when I went into labour. Everything had looked great up to that point. We decided to just hold him as he died instead of intervening as the chances of survival were so low. But any time I would Google 22 week labour I’d get these stories of miracle babies born that early who were thriving. What if my son had been one of the few that survived and thrived? It’ll always haunt me I think. Let yourself feel all your feelings. I’ll be thinking of you. The book “Empty Cradle, Broken Heart” was immensely helpful for me getting through the early days.
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Thank you so much for the suggestion. We were so hopeful, and part of me screamed to try to have someone even attempt to save our Beach Date shirt, but I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to prolong his suffering. He’s with his sister and I never have to explain that little empty feeling he would have for the rest of his life. Them being together, going into the unknown together, that brings me a lot of peace. He was not going to be a record breaker as much of a fighter as he was. Technology wouldn’t have been ready to save him.
It’s an extra kick while I’m down, considering our good friends are due ten days after we were, and my SIL was 10 weeks ahead of me with her last child. We had a little troop of babies on the way this fall and now I’m the one left to watch these kids grow up and constantly remember that my babies should be that age, making that milestone, living that life. I don’t think that’s going to get easier.
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