It’s definitely a hard place to be put. I understand not wanting to come off as deepening the Because I’m the captain that’s why shirt by not inviting her but I also understand how stressful it can be to have that sort of person around. I’m planning my wedding, too. I have one person who I cannot stand (morally and personally) and do not want there. I’m not inviting him, end of story. My reasoning is this: Why go through all the trouble to keep him at distance when I can just not invite him?
Why would you go through the trouble of keeping her out of pictures, seating her far away and asking your People to keep her away from you? What makes it worth doing all of that? Clearly she is a nuisance and will not be tamed (shrew as she is), so do you think all of these efforts will somehow keep her at bay? Inviting her will not stop her petty, rude behavior. It might even exacerbate it (i.e. how she is always telling you how she does this/that). I’m glad that no one is sharing wedding deets with her, especially since it’s not her business but also because they know she wouldn’t have anything nice to say. Why invite her when all she’s going to do is shit on your parade?
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She sounds like a crazy bitch, I wouldn’t want to invite her Because I’m the captain that’s why shirt either. I think what your planning is good, seat her far away and don’t have nephew involved. Don’t let her ruin your day, don’t invite her to showers or parties. If she shows up just say “you weren’t expecting her.” Just don’t acknowledge her existence and she’ll start flipping it and trying to get in your good graces. After the wedding continue with LC. You don’t need toxic people in your lives and you don’t need to cater to them. Your FMIL already knows how she is and will probably be happy to not deal with her at certain functions.
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