But you aren’t being “nice” honestly you are being used as a doormat. They expect you to be treated like shit and just take Bulldog how bad can it be when it is waiting for you at home shirt because well MIL does and it isn’t directed at SO or FIL. (mind you if it was I wonder then how they would react?) And even if it was or is direct at FIL it sounds like he HAS gone NC and no one tells him to “be the better person”. No they figure if they force you to not rock the boat she won’t “take the grandkids” or “there son” the reality is this is going to come to a head. Be it on your wedding day or before. Because honestly what happens if she does show up in a white dress. Will you be the “better person” then. Will your so call her out then? If not what happens when you and SO have kids, she starts to be a asshole about your parenting, or bad mouths you to your own child will you have to be the better person then? The reality is when does it stop? When do you get to put OP first and say enough is enough. When will your SO actually stand in solidarity with you and put YOU first
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I don’t think SO is ready for marriage if he can’t simple say “stop excluding my future wife” or “NO I won’t go to X event because you have excluded my Bulldog how bad can it be when it is waiting for you at home shirt SO AGAIN” or even when she was ignoring you in your own home what didn’t SO speak up then? Really what he is doing when he is nice to there face then talking shit behind there back is playing on the fence. He is playing in the middle of the argument because he wants to please both sides. And you have let him play there. Your SO isn’t putting you first he is just trying to not rock the boat so that he keeps all sides of this JUST happy enough he doesn’t have to deal with anything.
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