The more I read the Bible, the more the Holy Spirit pointed out areas of my Cat I didn’t ask how big the room is I said I cast fireball shirt that I had not surrendered to Him. And honestly, that’s kind of incredible! I’m constantly thanking Him for His grace, constantly needing His loving hand to guide me, and constantly looking back into His word thirsty for more. The more I drink, the more I want.
So you’re not where I am, or your pastor is, or some magical place where you can look around and say, I’m here and doing it right. Best advice I can give is to say, that place doesn’t exist and your pastor and I are just as big a sinner as you are. The flavors might be different, but sin is sin…and as you already confessed, yours, if you have trusted in Christ alone for your salvation, has already been born on the cross of Calvary.
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Is this now an opportunity to sin, by all means NO! But you will never be perfect in this life, you will never love God perfectly in this life. You will never love your neighbor perfectly in this Cat I didn’t ask how big the room is I said I cast fireball shirt. But you know who did, Christ and He traded your sins for His righteousness. Do you get that, have you sat in that truth? When God the father sees you, He sees His son! Debt forgiven and more than that, loved like His son. The son from eternity past, the second member of the Trinity. Hallelujah and Praise God! Now, if that doesn’t make you full of joy I do t know what will. If that doesn’t drive you to your knees in gratitude, I don’t know what will. If that doesn’t change your desires (albeit slower than you’d like), I don’t know what will. Final question, do you have a good, biblical church that you’re going to with Godly leaders to seek guidance from? I don’t know if 19 year old me would have been open to their counsel, but that’s a solid bit of advice I wish someone had given me as a younger man.