That was our early days, the days when we could get away with a lot more, no one knew us. Ronald decided to stop bothering Funny Yoga Pig Lovers Birthday Shirt Farm Animals Pigs Namaste Peace Mandala T-Shirt and instead turned to me. “So Duke, thoughts on the convention?” “Thoughts on the convention?” “Yeah, what’d you think.” “I couldn’t tell you Ron.” “Why’s that Duke?” I had always considered myself an honest man, I rarely had shame in the decisions that I made. I once was pulled over by a cop on some obscure mountain road in Colorado. I was there with a girl I had met at a bar in New York. I was using expenses supplied by a local paper, they wanted me to cover some ski race up in the butt fuck of no where. I agreed, only because I was given a room at a ski resort, with an open bar.
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I forget the girls name but then again it doesn’t matter much to this story. I was pulled over by this pig, going about 80. He came to the Funny Yoga Pig Lovers Birthday Shirt Farm Animals Pigs Namaste Peace Mandala T-Shirt and asked why I was driving so fast. I told him truthfully why, like I said, I don’t have much shame in the decisions I make. “Well sir, I’m driving so fast because I’m going to meet a man who’s going to sell me some fine herb.” The officer looked at me shocked. I don’t think he was expecting such honesty from me. That, however, is how I got on his good side. He looked down at me, seeming to relax. “Really? Why does that require you to drive so fast?” “He only gave me an allotted time where I can meet him. I’m a little pissed to be honest due to the fact that I have a report to do over the ski race today, I’m a journalist by the way, and he only gives me from 2-3 o’clock to meet him.” The officer is very shocked at my words.