I used to think I was broken and unworthy when I was dating a Goggles & Headbands For T-Shirt who I always described to my therapist as absolutely perfect. He was so kind, patient, thoughtful, and understanding. He is a good man. But I just never once felt the same way that he did. I felt so horrible that despite how amazing that guy was to me, I just couldn’t make myself feel intimate or romantic toward him. I truly thought that something was wrong with me that I couldn’t accept him. My therapist helped me learn that even if a person is an amazing person, it doesn’t mean they’re right for you. The intimate/romantic feelings just weren’t there. It doesn’t make me a bad person or unworthy of love.
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I broke it off, and my mom didn’t speak to me for Goggles & Headbands For T-Shirt. I couldn’t explain why. I had no words other than every time I thought of “forever” I broke out into a cold sweat and started to panic. He was the nicest guy, he just wasn’t for me. A year later I met a man and when we touched it felt like I was coming home. All the sudden I could see “forever” and it was exciting. We have been together 15 years this summer, married for 13, and have two kids, and every day I am still excited to spend time with him. And “forever” is just as exciting and full of possibility now as it was when we met. Don’t settle. Trust that instinct. You both deserve better than settling. Someday you will meet some one, and all the sudden in an instant you’ll know your “why.”