I dont have much of an input. But my upbringing is almost spot on with yours. 100% sicilian over here. Immigrant Harry Gant Skoal Bandit Shirt . I only tell my close friends and family about my life…everyone else doesnt need to know nor do they care enough. She seems really nosey. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but she sounds really insecure and maybe doesnt feel like part of the family. I feel like this is her way trying to force a relationship. For me, relationships can’t be forced. It pushes me away. I would ignore her. You’re right about the escalation thing. Maybe shift your perspective. I’m a step mom of two. Sometimes I feel insecure of not being part of the family (dh and I are planning for a little one in a couple years) but I also dont show my insecurity to the kids. I suck it up because i know you cant force yourself into people’s lives. My kids love me and i love them.
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I’d understand if she felt that way while she’s been raising DH for years and would live him and care for him and get nothing in return, but DH hasn’t lived at home since the age of 12 Harry Gant Skoal Bandit Shirt (boarding school) and only came home for vacations, and fully moved out to his own place after finishing uni at 20, which was two years after StepMIL and FIL first met. So she hasn’t really been a mother to him, but even so she’s very much part of the family. She is there at all family gatherings (the ones for my MILs grandkids from her first two children too (BIL and SIL), even though she technically has to connection to that part of the family because at the time PIL got together BIL and SIL were full adults with their own families and had no ties to StepMIL apart from brief contacts with FIL. No one ever excludes her from anywhere, she’s very respected and very appreciated, but it’s just not enough for her