This whole thing is so bizarre to me. My step-mother married my dad when I was… I dunno, I guess 12? Like it was such a non-event I couldn’t put a year to it without asking someone. I’ve NEVER lived with my I feel a sin coming on shirt, at most there was a weekend here or there. My older sister is the only one if us kids that has children, and I think she was beginning college when my dad remarried. So, she was really already out starting her life. This doesn’t mean she blocked my stepmom out when it came to her kids. Our mom is Gigi, her husband’s mom is Nana, my stepmom is Mimi. I don’t think any of us have ever regarded my stepmom in a maternal way, though I’d say we are all friendly with her. Like even saying stepmom is weird to me because I’ve ALWAYS called her by name and no one has ever tried to push a mom narrative…but she is a grandmother to my sister’s children. And that feels exactly right to me. The CHILDREN were born in a reality where she is married to their grandfather and so she is a grandmother. Period. It’s not complicated if she hasn’t done something horrible that would warrant distancing.
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It seems especially weird in OP’s case where they constantly see her I feel a sin coming on shirt. She is acting as a grandmother, and the child will see her as one. OP, you need to seriously figure out why you have such an issue with this. Something is clearly more screwy than you are indicating and it really appears you have harsh feelings against this woman. You need to figure out what they are and why you have them…and if you need to find a way to move on from them if it would be healthier for you to let go of them. It will be miserable and tense for your child otherwise…and it doesn’t seem like any of the adults are happy right now either.
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