why is it obvious that she’ll be in your lives a lot? just because she’s his mother? what does that I licked it so its mine mickey mouse shirt matter? my parents live 15 min away and are delightfully JY, and i wouldn’t say they’re in our lives “a lot.” if your DH is pushing you to spend this much time with her, he is the problem, not his mom. and you, my friend, need to stop worrying about being disrespectful to a woman that clearly has NO respect for you. stop worrying about hurting her feelings, and start worrying about protecting your baby and your sanity. she’s a grown ass adult – her feelings are her problem, not yours, not your DHs. you don’t need to learn to deal with this. what you need is to learn to set and enforce boundaries.
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You need to have dh set some boundaries and you both need to stick with them. Find a reasonable amount of time that you want to come over. For example for four I licked it so its mine mickey mouse shirt, one Sunday a month, not all day every Sunday. Decide if you want to offer to invite her over, how frequently, and how long. Have things to do before and after so she can’t come early or over stay and then get up grab baby and show her the door then leave. Always drive separately from dh just in case you need to make an escape. Remember it is okay to say no. No is a fine answer. Let her have her feels, she will. But better she is mad then you miserable imo. Also for me vacations with extended family is a once every few year event. That time off work is too precious especially with my lo being 5 months old. Find what’s comfortable for you guys.
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