Mock Street is the main vein in a busy shopping district. Imagine a Thomas Kinkade painting—gingerbread businesses, thick cuts of snow on every roof, enough twinkly I Like Motorcycles And Fishing And Maybe 3 People Shirt to clone a galaxy. Nearly every storefront window has the new and 11 improved Santa Claus painted on the glass. He is plumper now since the Initiative for the Normalizing of Differently-Weighted Peoples, or is it the Understanding of Normal-Weighted Peoples? Tyler forgets. Santa wears yoga pants. Tyler gazes at his own and traces the contours of his thighs.
Throngs of shoppers stuff in and out of doorways. They tote branded bags with gold lettering and red tissue paper blooming out the top. Vendors stake claims in alleyways and on corners where pools of half-dried syrup and ketchup grab at shoes on the sidewalk. Gourmet restaurants are crammed into food trucks—someone’s life spent perfecting the fried pickle. There’s a cart for whiskey-spiked eggnog, a mulled wine kiosk, a newsstand where delicate meats are stuffed in olives, breads, and cheeses. A vending machine produces packets of bacon-wrapped dates. The air pulsates in a warm, baked fervor. Since public drinking remained a freedom after Covid-19, people sip their drinks and mull about the streets, hob-knobbing more than they might otherwise.
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A food truck on the corner of Mock and 14th has a giant rotating corndog sitting atop its aluminum frame, but it’s not just a I Like Motorcycles And Fishing And Maybe 3 People Shirt, it’s a rocket with fins and ketchup spewing out the end while a small naked man holds on with his teeth, flapping in the wind like some dinky flag. A sign beneath is the company name, Normalize Corndogs. Waiting by the pickup window is a trio of rotund young men. The shortest, thickest man has bright red hair and freckles. He wears a dark blue peacoat and hornrimmed glasses. He makes grand sweeping motions with his arms, the other’s eyes remaining fixed to his magnanimous aura. The large redhead talks of “ancients” and how they revered fat folk as godlike. Who these “ancients” are is unclear, but these human-god hybrids, by way of increasing their mass, could contain vast amounts of chi. They could perform miracles like levitation and spontaneous food combustion—as in, cooking meat with their minds.
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