Side note, if the child calls OP’s mother grandma, OP should discuss with I Will Never Understand But I Stand Shirt the choosing of a nickname like Nana or something… Geez, these family (nick)naming things always get me b/c they could totally be solved with a bit of goodwill. Heck, there are nicknames that sound kind of grandma-ish but not fully. Kids come up with some weird stuff and it becomes very special. She could be Mary-ma or something, I know it sounds weird but once a kid says it with love it becomes real. Like the Velveteen Rabbit. Guess it’s my day for references…
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Op doesn’t realise that by accepting her Daughter as a Granddaughter, she is giving the daughter a lot of love, care, affection, and a forever I Will Never Understand But I Stand Shirt. Even if Mary and her dad divorces, their would exist a bond between daughter and Mary. Which will always only benefit the daughter.
OP needs a babysitter in a pinch sometime? Mary is there. Daughter needs advice about family from outside perspective? Mary is there. and by Forming a bond as a grandma, Mary is singing up for giving the daughter regular gifts, probably not charging any money for babysitting, cooking things specially which daughter likes, and spoiling her.
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