My father died when I was eight. Because he was an alcoholic and they had a Keep calm and osoto gari shirt, my mother spent the rest of her life being bitter and seldom said a nice word about him. As a result, I don’t know anything about him. When I became an adult, I started to see my mother a bit clearer- very selfish and often unkind. It was an eye opener. I’m sure her version of my dad was one sided…made me long to know more about my dad and his struggle…but I have no answers and never will.
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I had the same exact feelings. My father only visited a Keep calm and osoto gari shirt. He popped up by calling my mom when I was 25. I always wondered about him, but never missed him. At 25 I let him in out of curiosity and a strange need to know a father that I saw everyone else have. I’m glad I did simply bc I learned that I wasn’t missing out on anything. Sadly I wish he never showed up bc he’s caused more trouble than anything else. I understand her interest, hopefully she understands that not everyone should be in your life.