Then she thought of herself, and where she might fit in this world of connectivity. She was able to examine the Logo Detroit Tigers Shirt she said or did in an entirely new outward light. She hated it. Everything was a reference to something else. Her jokes were repeated from the Internet or from comedians she’d seen on the television. Her ideals and morals were recycled from past teachers whom she’d looked up to. The things she wore were replicas of her idols or friends. The unoriginality of it all burned her insides like a stomach virus. Or maybe it was actually burning from the mushrooms – she couldn’t tell which. She nearly vomited. She was just filling a role. That’s all everyone was. Around her in the crowds, they were all filling roles. The jock that was there for a party. The alternative girl that was “misunderstood.” The stoners. The hula-hooping girls, fighting for her attention. Even the musicians. All just filling roles.
She thought of her parents, and their tolerance – their support, even – of her choices. How they went to every clarinet recital. How they had cheered and whooped at her soccer games as a toddler. How they even funded the trip to the festival. They were supposed to do these things. These were things parents did. They probably didn’t understand the things she liked, but encouraged her nonetheless. They were following orders. The orders inherent in the society that said, “this is how parenting works.” It wasn’t their love and devotion that brought out this support.
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