You deserve much better; someone who cares about you for you first, then the intimacy will follow Master of the Irish goodbye shirt when it comes time for that. Your intimacy issues aren’t your fault, and there’s nothing wrong with you (except the women you’ve been with). If I had people say the kinds of hurtful things they’ve said to you, I’d probably be having anxiety attacks as well. Fuck. It really breaks my heart for you, and I mean that. I think the best thing to do would be to focus on yourself for a while. Get into a routine, get a job, etc. While I’m not a doctor by any means, I’d agree that you may not actually be bipolar as you were diagnosed. I’d get a second or third opinion asap on that, and would seek out a therapist (even a sex therapist) to help sort through everything you wrote above and help set you back on a healthy track forward.
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I have no doubt you’ll be able to find a woman who genuinely loves and understands where you’re coming from Master of the Irish goodbye shirt and what your needs are; don’t get yourself in too big a hurry. I really wish you all the best, man. ❤ Much appreciated Friend! It’s a super trans formative time for me right now so your kind words go a very long way. I know things will get better, it just takes some time and hardships to get there. Thanks for taking the time to read, I appreciate your time :).