You’ve created a character whose worries and experiences mirror those of virtually every one of Thanks dad for not pulling out and creating a freaking legend vintage shirt , which is a double-edged sword. On one hand, she has the power to touch all of us, remind us of ourselves at that age (or, if we are still that age, remind us that we’re not alone). But she also runs the risk of looking too familiar. You need to do her the service of making her just as unique as the real people we’ve known who are like her. Show us why she has this attitude, and give us some indication of whether that attitude will change, and why. And find little tactics along the way that will thwart our expectations.
Edit: There’s also a minor issue of her sudden mood change at the end. She’s very upset, she sees this family talking, and suddenly she’s happy. That happens very quickly, and with little or no reason. I assume it’s because she’s settled on another model for her next character, but would this really make her happy, if she hates the part of herself that’s unoriginal? And if it does make her happy, then why, and should we as readers be happy about that with her?
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