I had to chime in from experience personally and third party. OP is completely in the right here assuming the sequence of Thanks for wiping my ass and stuff shirt is factually correct. However, advice being given about taking care of yourself first doesn’t apply to everyone in all situations. Yes, there is probably the perfect job/career for everyone out there, but also be aware that usually you need to work with the hand you’re given because the chances of finding that perfect job are not great. Of course do your best to find it, but you need to be realistic about expectations. Most of the positions out there will involve imperfect management. Which means most of the time you will need to work around those constraints to keep yourself happy.
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This is the case more often than not unfortunately. OP’s Thanks for wiping my ass and stuff shirt was in the wrong for not doing their homework, but circumstances often lead to that, and there needs to be a better way of handling that. If he’s out the door already, then no big deal, but he’s counting chickens early (job applications). This situation will happen often by the time a career is done. Trying to get away from it isn’t the answer because you can’t, being able to manage up is much more realistic and useful. I am not suggesting kissing ass, that is also a short term fix. I am saying it will be more valuable to hone the skill of “managing up”. Of course I am rooting for OP, because we’ve all been there and wanted to do what he did. However I’m trying to be an adult and caution that it doesn’t usually end up well in the long run unlike the movies.