This is just a guess, but is part of this a feeling like you’re being disloyal to your Trilobite Fossil Rockhounds Shirt if you “accept” your dad’s fiance? My parents divorced in 2016 after 40ish years together. Independent of the fact that I’m NC with both of them, I feel like I can’t “choose” one over the other. Like if I’m NC with my dBPD mom, and then went NC with my eDad, now getting in touch with either one would be disloyal to the other. I see this written out, I know this is silly. But all my life I was asked to choose one over the other in a constant game. Each one was lobbying to get me on “their side”. I tried hard my whole life to keep them together. I acted as a marriage counselor at like younger than 10. 😣
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Thank you for your perspective. I don’t think I’ve ever taken sides with my parents consciously, but I will say that I am not bothered by the prospect of my Trilobite Fossil Rockhounds Shirt dating — albeit I am not ready to meet anyone she is dating either. Not that she has moved on so quickly, because she hasn’t. You’re right – my dad abandoned us a long time ago, and I need to recognize that this episode isn’t anything new. It’s just an example of something that’s been going on for a long time. I am going to do what is best for ME and that means NC. Thank you again.