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This person hit you, degraded you, and said horrible things to you. This person cheated with you. This person is a horrible, horrible Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out Dr Seuss Shirt being. Why do you keep him in your life? You can’t look for others to validate you. You seem to think that if you are in a relationship, that means you are ok as a person. That kind of thinking is really dangerous, because it makes you do desperate things to stay in unhealthy relationships. Please stay out of any relationship until you are secure enough in yourself to not accept horrible relationships in order to validate yourself. You must require more of those you choose to associate with if you expect to get more of people you associate with.